Im happy im still alive now. Life is super hectic that i couldn't get myself to on the laptop just to go online for a moment. Wth, me not being online is super weird these days.

What else, miserably working the ass off. Some people should be so happy jumping for joy that the staffs' been transfered and 1 quit and now what else, i think they might consider kicking me out too and leaving the new ones so they could just use them. Okay, buzz off work. Hello weekendss, im so gonna love weekends after donkey hours of insufficient sleep.

Hidayah got to entertain my bullshit. I tell you, i was cold like one dead body which literally is moving without knowing where it should go. Tsk, i dont know what came into me.

At times i feel guilty of not being what i should be for you

At times i feel its my fault it didnt work out

At times i wouldnt stop thinking how the hell i should drop this thinking (tho marziah says theres no way)

Like whether its always me in all the other shits that happened previously.

I blame myself for not knowing how to react

Not knowing to be that girl, that particular one that a guy would think of even when they're having sex with some other girl.

That girl who make you go crazy.

I dont know whether to blame myself for being sucha hassle in the shits that happened.

I cant be that person who could just get over you, because i really cant.

Sometimes i feel like im stupid to not even know how to start the car at the road of recovery, im just, i dont know what exactly feel at all.

I just miss you and i dont know how to stop doing that. Oh hell.

Anyways, back to reality, was just topic that came into my mind. Tsk... the thing about bus 963 that i frigginly hate happened to me, a darn insect crawled while i was about to dose off and it bit my legs. At that point of time i really wanted to shout and all i need was that boy who would allow me to step on his shoe while all those creatures crawl away.

:(((((((

On a lighter note, I cant wait for tmr because i just need the sunkissed beach with happy companion plus laughters that can make my babatfull tummy slimmer by an inch or so. Yeah the thai trip mates and the girlfriends. I dont care i wanna hug you girls so tight, i need you all, i dont now whyyyyyyy :(

&

im craving for that darn mcspicy and lots lotsa sushi.